Neverland is burning down.

So this is it, one day left college college.
Then everyone is going their separate ways.
It's as if I've been ripped apart from everyone I know.
EVeryone is going diffrent places next year.
My best fariends are all going to diffrent colleges.
Were splitting up.
Going on to new things.
And I'm scared.
That the people Ive spent 17 years of my life with will just...
find someone better and leave me.
I feel disasterously alone.
I hate it.
I hate hate hate hate hate it.
I feel like I'm being pulled apart.
That everything I know is dissapearing and I don't know how to deal with that.
Should I be scared or happy.
I'm a such a mess I don't know what to do.
I've been in a shitty mood all day.
I hate this place.

I hate being me.
I hate myself.
I hate my room.
Tonight for the first time in a long while I've hit rock bottom.
Again.
Just as I thought all this would dissapear.
That it was over.
Though I guess depression doesn't just wonder away.
It will always be there.
Just it wont be as bad sometimes as it is other times.
It will always be with me.
It just shows up at the most inconveniant times.

This sumemr shoudl be great.
My friend is flying out from america to see me.
And I'm going to London to see my favorites band.
With my best friends.
On our first holiday together with out adults.

Then I remember that in three months time.
I will be on my own.
And I don't like it at all.