I want to take myself back, take back my mind,
My soul,
Bring back the person I know,
This is not me, it’s ‘me’ to the fifth,
I love being ignored.
I love feeling my skin burn if only to remind me I can feel.
Sometimes I get so mad for no reason.
I flip out and freak out.
I’m sick of putting myself out for other people
Sick of going out my way for others.
Sick of having something I have put my heart in to throwing away so easy.
I’m going to stop that now, stop myself putting anything in to anything.
Because it’s a joke how lightly some people take it.
I’m done with fucking with my own heart.
Done with all this shit.
Maybe I need a break from here all tonight.
Thinking of leaving here,
All of this forever.
It would do more good than bad,
You know what its like.
Gonna trade myself down.
Can’t afford this model, might as well take it back,
Go a step lower.
Back down again.
Because all I ever do is go up and down.
Manic Depressive.
What a fantastic title.
Lost in my own mind.
Lock me up.
Make me a prisoner.
Bring back my sanity,
No need to gift wrap it.
Throw it even, if we dropped it you wouldn’t notice.
Sometimes I wonder if I was born without it.
Most probably was.
Sick of myself and my self destruction.
I’d love to set myself alight.
Burn myself like a bonfire.
That way at least then I should shine bright.
I’m an addict, I keep coming back for more and more,
I’m suck on repete, broken records and silent streets.
I love the feeling of being up early in the morning,
Walking on empty streets,
While everyone else is asleep.
Its almost perverted in a way,
And yet at the same time I feel safe.
I can go out and no one is there to laugh at me.
No one to make fun of me.
No one to point me out of the round.
If you’re the only one around…
There is no crowd.
My perfect world…
Lets hang out tomorrow again.
Same people, same time.
Only in my head.
Only people in this world are the ones I imagine in my head.
Sometimes, I wonder…
I have great friends, how did I earn them?
Because I don’t deserve them,
I didn’t do anything to buy them…
It’s strange…I feel like I shouldn’t have them.
It’s too good to be true.
Makes me think I’ve made them up inside my head.
As if I’m going crazy.
I probably am.
My perfect world is just me and my head.
No one to tell me about how I should think inside it.
That is perfection.
I know I’ve said it again and again.
Living life to its fullest like there is no tomorrow.
Truth is there is never tomorrows.
Only today’s.
Today is the tomorrow we have worried about.
And I’m losing sleep over nothing.
Anxieties are taking over me.
Like a plague from the past.
I’m living in shells, in red, in black.
I wish I was as cool as you.
No matter how much I try.
I never seem to climb too high.
Scared of falling back down again.
I want to run away, want to hide away.
Better than facing the sunrise, sunset, falling apart.
Strip me of me,
And see whats left behind.
I bet it’s the same.
I’m gone.
I don’t know where I am.
Don’t know where I’ve been or where I am going.
“I’ve got a sunset.
And I need to take a pill to make this town feel ok”
I am expendable for the kill.
