There something very disheartening about some of my friends.
They don’t really care about anything I like.
We’ve been friends for almost 18 years now…
And they act as if I’m nothing to them.
Taken for granted and kicked about.
‘She’ll always be there to take the slack.’
One day I’ll disappear and I wont be there to pick up your mess and tidy it up.
I always seem to be the fixer,
Fixing problems and working them out,
Despite my lack of logic.
If I can iron out creases this big I’d be fucking famous.
The new Jerry Springer.
Only this time round there not someone else’s problems.
There mine.
I can dish out advice by the bucket load.
Tell people that its ok to cry,
Ok to feel down,
Ok to feel like the world gets on top of you.
Only I can never take my own advice.
I’m such a fucking hypocrite.
I’m such a fucking liar.
I take a pill in the morning to get me though the day and I hate myself for it.
It’s crazy that I have to take a pill to make myself feel alright.
To convince myself that everything is ok,
Ha! I find that fucking hilarious.
The one person who everyone goes to for advice is more fucked up then them.
How ironic is that?
I find shit like this hilarious.
I laugh at how stupid it fucking is.
That I take a pill to make everything fucking bearable.
Like its going to make a difference.
It might make me a nicer person to be around…
But that’s not me then is it.
Then again,
There are very few people who put up with me.
99.999% of this world hate me.
That 0.001% that’s left put up with me for an hour.
And out of that there’s only three people who really fucking know me.
All three are on the other side of a screen.
How pathetic.
The people who know me.
Who I’ve known my entire life.
Know less about me than those who have the privilege of reading this blog.
Sad part is…
We used to be close.
We used to care about each other.
Or did I imagine that too…
I don’t think I can be around you anymore.
Because when I think of you.
I don’t think of good things.
They don’t really care about anything I like.
We’ve been friends for almost 18 years now…
And they act as if I’m nothing to them.
Taken for granted and kicked about.
‘She’ll always be there to take the slack.’
One day I’ll disappear and I wont be there to pick up your mess and tidy it up.
I always seem to be the fixer,
Fixing problems and working them out,
Despite my lack of logic.
If I can iron out creases this big I’d be fucking famous.
The new Jerry Springer.
Only this time round there not someone else’s problems.
There mine.
I can dish out advice by the bucket load.
Tell people that its ok to cry,
Ok to feel down,
Ok to feel like the world gets on top of you.
Only I can never take my own advice.
I’m such a fucking hypocrite.
I’m such a fucking liar.
I take a pill in the morning to get me though the day and I hate myself for it.
It’s crazy that I have to take a pill to make myself feel alright.
To convince myself that everything is ok,
Ha! I find that fucking hilarious.
The one person who everyone goes to for advice is more fucked up then them.
How ironic is that?
I find shit like this hilarious.
I laugh at how stupid it fucking is.
That I take a pill to make everything fucking bearable.
Like its going to make a difference.
It might make me a nicer person to be around…
But that’s not me then is it.
Then again,
There are very few people who put up with me.
99.999% of this world hate me.
That 0.001% that’s left put up with me for an hour.
And out of that there’s only three people who really fucking know me.
All three are on the other side of a screen.
How pathetic.
The people who know me.
Who I’ve known my entire life.
Know less about me than those who have the privilege of reading this blog.
Sad part is…
We used to be close.
We used to care about each other.
Or did I imagine that too…
I don’t think I can be around you anymore.
Because when I think of you.
I don’t think of good things.
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