I didn't even bother going to bed last night.
Whats the point when I had to get up for class.
Calculus was a waste of fucking time.
We've finished the year course now.
So all that's left is studying our little buts off for the final.
I could have just slept all morning.
We sat there for an hour and a half and did NOTHING.
Then got told "well you can go home if you want.
Just tell me what you wanna go over in the next class."
Well.
I guess its better than sitting in that shitty room for 4 hours xD
So I got in my car and drove home.
Its only half an hour.
Its not that far.
But I got bored.
And I didn't have anything else to do.
So I decided to take a drive.
Just keep driving and see what happened.
So I drove up to the Rest And Be Thankful.
Best road in the country.
And I parked at the top of the hill.
And just sat in my car looking at the countryside.
I was just sitting there.
With the radio on.
And The Cure "Friday I'm In Love."
And I just sat and cried.
And I cried and I don't know WHY.
That's what bothers me.
The Cure are the only band that can reduce me to HAPPY tears.
~ I just can't understand why.
Its starting to bother me.
I guess it reminds me of him.
I know he's gone.
There's nothing in the world that will bring him back.
I stood by him as they lowed the coffin and yet it still hasn't sunk in.
I don't know quite what to make of its.
It's silly isn't it.
A year and a half later to still be thinking about it.
But I still miss him.
Every moment of every day.
He was my best friend.
He was the only guy that I knew who wasn't interested in one thing.
He was too good for the world any way.
But still I treasure every memory.
I never want them to fade.
I never want to forget them.
Because they were the only times I was truly happy.
I want to remember those times.
And smile.
And cry like I did today.
Even though I sat there and just cried.
I think I needed that time.
To try and accept it.
For the first time I told myself he was gone.
I didn't act like it never happened.
And I feel so much better for it.
Sometimes to move on.
I think you need to accept what happened.
And deal with it.
I think I need to do that.
I'll deal with it
I CAN do it.
"All that I have.
All that I hold.
All that is wrong.
All that I feel for or trust in or love.
All that is gone."
Whats the point when I had to get up for class.
Calculus was a waste of fucking time.
We've finished the year course now.
So all that's left is studying our little buts off for the final.
I could have just slept all morning.
We sat there for an hour and a half and did NOTHING.
Then got told "well you can go home if you want.
Just tell me what you wanna go over in the next class."
Well.
I guess its better than sitting in that shitty room for 4 hours xD
So I got in my car and drove home.
Its only half an hour.
Its not that far.
But I got bored.
And I didn't have anything else to do.
So I decided to take a drive.
Just keep driving and see what happened.
So I drove up to the Rest And Be Thankful.
Best road in the country.
And I parked at the top of the hill.
And just sat in my car looking at the countryside.
I was just sitting there.
With the radio on.
And The Cure "Friday I'm In Love."
And I just sat and cried.
And I cried and I don't know WHY.
That's what bothers me.
The Cure are the only band that can reduce me to HAPPY tears.
~ I just can't understand why.
Its starting to bother me.
I guess it reminds me of him.
I know he's gone.
There's nothing in the world that will bring him back.
I stood by him as they lowed the coffin and yet it still hasn't sunk in.
I don't know quite what to make of its.
It's silly isn't it.
A year and a half later to still be thinking about it.
But I still miss him.
Every moment of every day.
He was my best friend.
He was the only guy that I knew who wasn't interested in one thing.
He was too good for the world any way.
But still I treasure every memory.
I never want them to fade.
I never want to forget them.
Because they were the only times I was truly happy.
I want to remember those times.
And smile.
And cry like I did today.
Even though I sat there and just cried.
I think I needed that time.
To try and accept it.
For the first time I told myself he was gone.
I didn't act like it never happened.
And I feel so much better for it.
Sometimes to move on.
I think you need to accept what happened.
And deal with it.
I think I need to do that.
I'll deal with it
I CAN do it.
"All that I have.
All that I hold.
All that is wrong.
All that I feel for or trust in or love.
All that is gone."
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