What Am I To Do?

This place gets me down.
The world in general.
Sometimes I think to hard.
Read too deep.

I get so tired of all the crap that goes on inside these walls.
The yelling and the arguing why can't we all get on?
It feels as I am alone sometimes.
And the rest of the time I want to be alone.

I'm a mess inside.
Going round in circles.
Wondering what is going to happen to me?
After all this at college this year?
Next year were all going different places.
Things are changing and I'm terrified.
I've lived my life with these people.
17 years we've spent.
And next year will be the first we've spent apart.
Different colleges.
Different sides of the country.
I'll be alone.
I don't know anyone.
But I've made my decision and now I must go though with it.
Because this is my future.
A future I want to live.
I want to make the most of it.
I've worked hard to get it.
But whats the point if my friends are gone?
Its great achievement.
But you cant have a laugh with it when your down.
Or pass notes to it in the back of lectures.

Then again I talk crap.
I confuse my self more than you will ever know.
I've decided this blog shall remain Anon.
So I can spill it all with out people knowing who I am.
Because I don't even trust a diary in my room anymore.

Sad thing is its 3am and I'm not tired anymore.