Burry me with them.

There is a few things I’ve learnt the last week or so.
I had doubts that I never voiced.
About how close we were as a ground and how solid we were.
And I do feel bad for thinking like that.
But that’s just me.
I get insecure and doubt not just others but myself.
I have a mess of a head.
Like watching everything though frosted glass.
The crystal ball was always cloudy except when you look in to the past.
I became obsessed with the thought that things were falling apart.
That I was losing people close to me.
I was wondering about going to London.
If it would confirm it or prove me round.
Fuck I was proved more wrong than I ever was.
I realised I have some of the most wonderful people in the world.
That I have friends who really are friends.
That we’re fucking sold as gold.
It completely wiped all the doubts from me.
And suddenly it feels like we’re closer than ever.
I’m shocked, truly shocked.
That everything seems to be so much more…solid than it was before.
I know things are changing.
But that’s life.
Sometimes to changed too fast for us.
And slower than we need it too.
Your moving and it’s scary for you and us.
But you’re not that far away as it feels.
And in the end things will have changed one day.
Comfort zones are changing.
It’s a year of change.
It will be different yet the same.
If you get what I mean.
And even though were going to be apart,
I know we will see each other,
I want to let you guys know.
All of you.
Steph, Shin, Reppy and even Kelz and Shazz
I love all of you to bits.
Seriously.
Steph, Shin and Reppster.
Feels so much more sold.
And Kelz it was amazing meeting you.
And Shazz dude you know I’m always an IM away,
And we’ll get you over to the UK somehow ^__~
I guess in a weird ass way I’m trying to tell you all,
How much you mean to me,
Because I don’t feel like I do that often enough.
Stay gold all of you.

XO

City Dark

Hotel room,
Like a flash back room the past,
I've heard people say that they give you inspiration to write.
They do indeed.
I'm working on a book type thing
Well more of a story of what happened while we were here in London.
It will be ready soon.
I took pen to paper the tonight and started working on it,
I will continue tonight.
Lots of videos and photos for everyone to see.
Such and an amazing place this city,
Its huge, Ive never seen anything like it.
I've never seen a place this big.
it's amazing.
We got off the bus and looked around, walked though Victoria station and took a deep breath.
It was aw inspiring.
It sounds stupid but I've never been in a place like this.
I've never been to s city this big.
The last four days has been somewhat of a blur.
almost surreal.
I'm sorry I was off a bit when I met you.
Everything just felt like it wasn't happening.
like a dream.
I feel as if everything has gone way too fast.
I'm caught up in a whirlwind that is London.
We went to Piccadilly Circus today.
it was huge.
We went shopping in China town and it was amazing.
god I fucking love this city.
I love it so much.
There's so much life here.
So much creativity.
So many people f all different races and places.
The look son their faces when they see Scottish money xD

I think I like this place very much indeed.
Smile like you mean it.
I do mean it.
this weekend has brought us closer as friends.
closer in every sense.
We've shared some deep conversations this weekend.
The ones that make you smile in the heart.
I feel light this weekend.
As if nothing in the world could hurt me.
I've realised no matter how many times we fight,
That you are always there for me.
That you are always, always going to have my back.
no matter how many time I doubt it.
I'm insecure we all know it but at the same time I know you will always be there for me.
I love you all like your my family.
we've known each other forever.
Too long.
I know I get upset and clingy.
but I don't mean to annoy you.
There have been some parts of this weekend that have been a very, very tough test of our character.
But we're ok and we're doing great.
I love you all.

i'll be home soon.
I' m going to open a new journal for my writing project.
I need a name though.
XD
Dramalama and all.
There's been more.
Consisting of one person bitching and glaring and reconsideration of who are friends.
though the three with me.
There sold as gold.
Keep yourself gold.
All of you.
Love you all like there's no tomorrow.
Truefuckinglove.
<3