flashing in the dark

"A free for all fuck em all you are your own slave!"

I cant even get the top off the bottom of the barrel.
I hate myself more then I could tell you in works.
I hate my body every day I glance at myself in the mirror.
I hate myself every day that I try to better myself.
Someone take the pain from the cuts away.
The sensation of chemical sunshine breaks my brain,
Everything might just be all right one day.
Just give me my citalopram.
Someone kiss the demons out of my dreams.
I don't want to feel a thing anymore.

Life is just wasting time down a bumbfuck road.

The horns in the cars in the street....

The wave is just another message that they just don't see,
So that's it I'm done writing your wrongs and I'm ready to move on.
Guess what I'm done trying to be the best of three,
In this battle for the mind by crooked heros verses honest cons.
These thoughts are not a business plan its survival,
But I've been left behind and I would in this city of silicon bronze.
Still we've seen what no one ever saw before,
A saviour that couldn't even save us but they can still see the suns.

Every day what they try to say to me means nothing,
But it all makes sense the next afternoons waking up in cloths again.
I wanna be forgotten please don't make it worse,
I don't want to me reminded of the wet nights watching the window pane.
I'm clinging to the thread that keeps me tethered,
Watching the airport traffic knowing that I'll soon be on a plane.
I'm taking off if I can't forget I'm running away,
Departure gates and plain adverts lead the plane delay the pain delay.

Every time I try to leave I find I keep on falling,
I stand by the strength of my crutch and losing my dodgy footing,
I look the other way to hide the feeling of crying.
My minds all out of place yet everything is here just floating,
I tried to do the right thing and be all I need,
Still I'm falling through the turntables and pass out spinning.
Silently the world has me stuck in its tide,
And its hard to wake up when the darkness is so filling.

Too well dressed for the witness stand.

[Pill]ow Talk.

Pillow talk tales of starless night skies,
And the haunted times we had to say goodbye,
The motion of the sky is breaking me,
I’m thinking maybe the world should just let me be,
The things the brick say as I throw them,
At glass moons and they fall like broken gems.

Scattered diamonds on the grass sing the songs,
Of all the broken minds and the wrongs,
That lay strewn on the theatre of my whirlwind mind,
Hidden behind the white Venetian blind,
It sings slowly testing my chemical sunshine veins,
Which might as well be archaeological remains.

The bright summer isn’t that far away you said,
But on the contrary the trees are still dead,
And the northern downpours send their bitter winds,
To twisted and confused misfired minds,
Sat on the rock bottom of the Middle Meadow Walk,
Wondering one day it will be easy to talk.

Truth be told I’m just the objector to the war in my head.

icantgoonlikethis

I don't think anyone realise how lonley I truly feel.
Its midnight and I'm still awake
because I can't stop thinking about how empty I feel.
Sometimes I don't feel at all.
Theres this creepy feeling going around inside my head.
This has to STOP

it was hillarious

the thought that maybe i could find somewhere i belong
now i've started to realise no matter what i do
no matter where i am in the world i am never going to fit in
there is nothing i can do
there is nothing i can do to help that
it's not my fault its the way the doctor made me
i've changed myself so many times i don't know who me is anymore
i've tried so fucking hard to make friends
i've sold my soul for ten minutes company
i cant play this game anymore
i want to go home and throw this degree in the gutter
but i cant because it would break my mothers heart
i can see it in her smile when she tells people
when she tells them how far i've made it
i can't break her heart like that.
it would make my life if you would just stay for a while.
all i need is someone who will hold my hand through this.

and i know its too much to ask
thats the thing
they think i'm grown up
i'm anything but.

walking contradiction

as soon as something nice happens to me and i'm happy
they have to ruin it for me
sometimes i feel like a stranger in my own flat
like i don't really live here i'm just a guest in my own place
the thing is
i want to go home so badly
and i can't i know my mum keeps telling me that my room always there
that i can come home any time i want
that it's alright if i don't want to do this

but it isn't true
i can't let them down
i'm stuck with me all the time.

i know i'm not alright
but they don't have to.

Heros&Cons

She’s left home and has no idea what to do with her soul anymore.
The people who surround her have no idea the thoughts in her head.
The people pretend she doesn’t exist and she doesn’t know what to do.
No one wants to hear what goes on inside her head because she takes them with her
She’ll take you down with her in to the dark.
No one would follow her in to the dark.
All of you jump ship quickly now, go go go
Or she’ll take you down with her.


We wouldn’t want that would we?