icantgoonlikethis

I don't think anyone realise how lonley I truly feel.
Its midnight and I'm still awake
because I can't stop thinking about how empty I feel.
Sometimes I don't feel at all.
Theres this creepy feeling going around inside my head.
This has to STOP

it was hillarious

the thought that maybe i could find somewhere i belong
now i've started to realise no matter what i do
no matter where i am in the world i am never going to fit in
there is nothing i can do
there is nothing i can do to help that
it's not my fault its the way the doctor made me
i've changed myself so many times i don't know who me is anymore
i've tried so fucking hard to make friends
i've sold my soul for ten minutes company
i cant play this game anymore
i want to go home and throw this degree in the gutter
but i cant because it would break my mothers heart
i can see it in her smile when she tells people
when she tells them how far i've made it
i can't break her heart like that.
it would make my life if you would just stay for a while.
all i need is someone who will hold my hand through this.

and i know its too much to ask
thats the thing
they think i'm grown up
i'm anything but.

walking contradiction

as soon as something nice happens to me and i'm happy
they have to ruin it for me
sometimes i feel like a stranger in my own flat
like i don't really live here i'm just a guest in my own place
the thing is
i want to go home so badly
and i can't i know my mum keeps telling me that my room always there
that i can come home any time i want
that it's alright if i don't want to do this

but it isn't true
i can't let them down
i'm stuck with me all the time.

i know i'm not alright
but they don't have to.

Heros&Cons

She’s left home and has no idea what to do with her soul anymore.
The people who surround her have no idea the thoughts in her head.
The people pretend she doesn’t exist and she doesn’t know what to do.
No one wants to hear what goes on inside her head because she takes them with her
She’ll take you down with her in to the dark.
No one would follow her in to the dark.
All of you jump ship quickly now, go go go
Or she’ll take you down with her.


We wouldn’t want that would we?

Two years ago

My best friend died two years ago today. I can't believe what has happened in the last two years. I miss you more than anything in the world and I know it hasn't been easy for any of us but I'm really feeling it now.

Where Are We Going?

I don't care anymore.

I'm going to leave you

I'm going to teach you
How we all fall apart.
It's not my fault I feel hurt is it?
Am I just over emotional?
My heads in heaven and soles in hell.
Jesus fuck it hurts like hell though.
I want to go home I want to go home.
I want my bedroom I want to dissapear.
Please take me back, jesus fucking christ
fuck this shit.
I can't deal with this anymore.
I want to go home.
I just want to be away from here.